Why I Stopped Budgeting

Confessions of an Aging Financial Advisor: a series from Truepoint advisor John Evans

As a financial advisor, I’ve spent decades teaching clients the virtues of budgeting. A good budget is the cornerstone of financial success. And yet, here’s a confession I rarely share: soon after the birth of my first child, I stopped maintaining a traditional budget.

It wasn’t a conscious rebellion against my professional principles; it was a gradual shift, a realization that my financial priorities had changed. 

Before children, I was a meticulous budgeter, tracking every dollar spent, categorizing expenses, and priding myself on the precision of our financial planning.  

But parenthood brought a whirlwind of responsibilities, chaos, and unforeseen expenses. Diapers, daycare, Amoxicillin, pediatrician visits – the sheer volume of variables made it nearly impossible to maintain the same level of control. In fact, trying to maintain that control led to what felt like unnecessary stress. At first, I felt guilty. How could a financial advisor preach discipline while letting his own budget fall apart? 

Then came the epiphany. Instead of stressing over every expense, I started focusing on what I call “big-picture planning.” It wasn’t about tracking where every dollar went—a task that was becoming a full-time job—it was about ensuring our money served our most important priorities. And for us, nothing was more important than our child’s health and happiness. This was the moment I completely gave up on budgeting as I’d always practiced it before. 

From Budgeting to Bucketing

Rather than obsessing over spreadsheets and spending trends, we shifted our mindset. We stopped seeing budgeting as a way to control expenses and started using it as a tool to build the life we wanted for our family. I gave up a lifetime of expense budgeting and instead began to focus on savings planning.   

Our first step was to prioritize savings—not just to see those bank account balances grow in a void but to give us the freedom to provide experiences, opportunities, and peace of mind for our child’s well-being. In the end, it wasn’t about the numbers; it was about making sure our financial decisions reflected what truly mattered most.   

Every month, we set aside a fixed percentage of our income into the 401(k) plan, savings, IRAs, and eventually, a 529 college savings plan. These contributions became non-negotiable, just like a mortgage payment. By prioritizing these savings, I could let go of the minutiae. We weren’t reckless with spending, but I stopped tracking every grocery receipt or entertainment expense. As long as our savings goals were met, I gave myself permission to relax. 

Now, despite my new free-spirited approach, a career as a financial advisor still armed me with plenty of caution.  

For example, to avoid the risk of frivolous spending when either of us received a bonus or an annual raise, we followed a simple rule: increase our annual savings goal to capture 50% of the added income and reserve the remaining amount for our family’s enjoyment. This approach allowed us to indulge occasionally without compromising our savings goals. It became a disciplined yet flexible way to celebrate success responsibly. 

The Magic Picture 

This strategy not only simplified our lives but also aligned with my professional philosophy. I’ve always told clients that financial planning is about balance: preparing for tomorrow without sacrificing today.  

For our family, automating our savings and focusing on long-term goals allowed us to achieve that balance. It was liberating to trust the system we’d built and know that our future was secure, even if we didn’t account for every coffee or toy purchase. 

As our kids grew up and we shifted from the chaos of saving for the future to managing life in an empty nest, a new challenge emerged: transitioning from a savings-focused mindset to one centered on spending. Like one of those optical illusions, our ‘bigger picture’ began to morph into something different—and our priorities changed with it. 

At first, it was uncomfortable. Our center of gravity had shifted and finding our balance in this new world felt like learning to walk in reverse. But what I discovered surprised me.  

With the stress of raising children reduced, financial planning became more collaborative with my spouse. Together, we started envisioning and creating the next chapter of our lives, aligning our spending with our shared values and dreams. This collaborative process brought a sense of renewal and partnership to our financial journey.  

Finding Your Balance 

Of course, this approach isn’t for everyone. It requires discipline to commit to the savings plan. But for us, it worked. It allowed us to focus on what mattered most: raising our children, building memories, and enjoying the moments. 

Looking back, I’m not ashamed of my confession. In fact, I think it makes me a better advisor. I’ve learned that financial planning isn’t a one-size-fits-all endeavor. It’s about adapting to life’s changes and finding what works for your family. Traditional budgets are a fantastic tool, but they’re not the only path to financial success. 

As I approach retirement myself, I’m proud of the decisions we made. If there’s one lesson to be learned from our experience, it’s this: don’t let the pursuit of perfection derail your progress. Whether you’re tracking every penny or just focusing on the big picture, the key is to stay true to your values and priorities. After all, financial planning is about more than money; it’s about building a life that reflects what matters most to you. Isn’t that the definition of true wealth?